If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
