my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
23 Parents Gave Awful Advice about “The Birds and the Bees”
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
These 19 Deaths Are Ironically Hilarious
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE