There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me