Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.