I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
