you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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