I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
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