Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Please. i have SOME standards
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.