well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Randomize
