He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
