pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
True strength comes from lack of pants
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Randomize
