Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
