This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
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