i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
