I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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