ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
