Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Randomize
