I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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