just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
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making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
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She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
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