Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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