Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
