so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
