When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
Boobs speak an international language.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
