I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize
