32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
