he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Randomize
