Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
