Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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