we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
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