no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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