How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize