I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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