We won't sleep together?
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
