trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
