how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Randomize
