Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
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