just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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