is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize
