Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
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