I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize