I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
