I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Randomize