These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
