i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
