for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Randomize
