I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
