i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
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