The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
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