Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Randomize
