its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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