forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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