yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
