i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
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