i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
