You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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