how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
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The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
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