Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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