4 words: hood of his car
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
The adults are the big ones right?
Randomize
