plz talk dirty to me
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Randomize
