my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
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