i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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