What tipped you off? The sombrero?
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
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