i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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