Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
