she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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